Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Hello hello

So it has been a very long time since I last posted! A lot has been happening in my life and I've wanted to sit down and write something for this blog for a while now but i just kept putting it off and more things kept happening and buh. I'm finally not doing anything, mainly because I'm on holidays for the week and also because I have a really awful chest cold thing. 

Being sick is kind of nice when you don't actually have to do anything else because you can just lie in bed and make up all sorts of remedies involving lemon and honey and no one can really tell you that you're lazy. The last week of uni was quite hectic and I had a lot on my plate but I think I did okay. I workshopped the first chapter of a novel I'm writing for one of my Creative Writing classes and I got some really lovely feedback! 

Workshopping my own work is such a bittersweet thing, on the one hand I love knowing that all these faces around the room have read my work and are talking about it in an engaged and constructive way, but at the same time I become completely debilitated with nerves right before we start. Having said that, I couldn't imagine trying to tackle a long piece without it being workshopped - having another pair of eyes brings a whole new perspective to things so often overlooked. 

I also had a big lit essay to write on Baudelaire, and I explored his construction of the figure of the lesbian in some of the banned poems in Flowers of Evil. Decadent lit is really my favourite to study, you can delve into it so much and just when you think you've grasped what the hell it's all about it slips away again into some paradoxical contradiction. 
This most recent weekend I went away to a festival. The sky out in the bush was amazing, I spent a lot of time star gazing. I met so many beautiful people as well, everyone was so open to just sitting and have a chat and really share parts of themselves. I did a bunch of cool workshops like How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse, Self Love Yoga, Laughter Yoga, I sang in a spontaneous choir, I got naked and rolled around in the mud, I walked with my eyes closed through a tunnel of love, I did life drawing, me and my friend ran an impromptu star gazing workshop for people on acid (lol), and basically yeah I did a lot of fun things. 

I always find after festivals or camping trips it takes me a while to adjust back to ~reality~. I just feel my blood boiling and I want to go away again as soon as I can. It makes me feel a bit disheartened that my next overseas trip wont be for so long - well, a year at least - which maybe doesn't sound that long but I feel a bit anxious and landlocked right now. In the end I know it'll be worth it, to finish my degree and have it under my belt and then I can drift off. 

In other news, Kassie has her licence now and I feel very very keen to get mine, but easier said than done though hey. Last night we drove to a couple of house inspections in Brunswick, one was nice but a bit small and the other was sooooo nice but probably too expensive. I gotta say house hunting is fucking hard and if anyone tells you otherwise they are lying. I'm very bad at being an adult. I've been reminiscing a lot about when I was 18, working full time at a law firm to save to go to Europe, and my travel buddies and I would meet up at this bar after our shifts at our weird desk jobs and we'd be wearing suits and we'd laugh so much about how we were pretending to be grown ups sending emails and transferring phone calls and making excel spreadsheets, secretly eating Cheetos out of our desk draws and stealing the cookies from the kitchen and sending selfies to each other in the bathroom. Nothing's really changed, and it makes me think that everyone is just pretending to be an adult and no one actually is. Maybe. What would I know I am just a kid.