Saturday, 26 August 2017

Things I was trying to explain to you the other night but I lost my voice


 I crawled under your childhood doona (where we both were having weird dreams)
                                                                                          yours were in and out of this earthly realm
                                                                                          and mine, I think, a past life
we talk about our paper skin and wonder~
if all people are like this // I guess we made a soul pact back then

yesterday your bedroom looked as sore as my puffed up eyes
something kinda empty like a crust
where there was no bed anymore just clothes and a bunch of pens
+ + that weird porcelain face I bought you
was looking back at me like it knew
I was getting nostalgic, tonight
it's cold for the first time in a while
                                                                        and I can feel my skin prickling like a plant
                                                                        and maybe the way I extend to you is like leaves growing                                                                             towards sunlight
                                                                        I think there's
warmth in all the melancholy,
cause we've made a cosy nest in it for years now, and the other day
when it was raining I felt
like my house wasn't real, the way the floorboards
sink in places, it's just parts people have put together
                                                                        and it doesn't have a meaning,
                                                                        and I dissociate sometimes, with people,
                                                                        and my body feels like a hologram of my creation.
                                                                        there's a power in it, in the implication
                                                                        it can be turned it off

——— Tonight, it's like the first day of the week or even season,
                  and I'm getting so sentimental that even my
+/ chipped nail polish is reminding me of the impermanence of life
+/ and time - a loose concept, a story to navigate and navigate, tomorrow,
+/ I might wake up with you and it will feel like last week, and last year,
                                                                        {and I think we've definitely said that paper skin thing before}
I wish it were raining outside while we're spooning
so I can pretend we're in my old room for a bit
but I can't trick my mind without soundscapes
sometimes seb chops veggies in the other room
and I feel like I'm home from school
waiting for mum to call out Dinner
sometimes you hold your breath in your sleep
it's probably bad for you or something,
                                                                        but it helps me feel like we're on that single bed
                                                                        with pokey springs and i'm excited (for once)
                                                                        to get older

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