Monday, 1 June 2015

be merry

i woke and i couldn’t stop running
like a train was late
i had all these metallic comments
jiggling inside my brain

couldn’t wrench a gap
big enough to drip them out

i purposely fuelled that little ego, tryna
flesh out some form of defense in there,
tryna compete for complacency

with my mind set like an interface
i crumble under all that communication
lazy like menstrual blood in the sheets

‘hey darling what’s your name’ he says
i pretend he isn’t there while his question lingers
let it get sucked back whence it came, like spit after vomit
let them all get kicked in the shin

i recoil in my seat while he sits
his legs spread like a lap dance patron
kneeing me in the back
my eyes start chatting up a storm inside my brain
and quietly
my teeth
plot mischief

and i was talking to people, you know, conversation
outwardly i was at full function
useful appliance, i do good
creep inside i’m orchestrating
a little war

and in the office i’m scruffy, my angles don’t match
the sleek black chair beneath me
i watch the men, bulky, jagged and civilised
their voices like low piano scales
racing each other out of breath

and i think, fuck them and their houses
their big, grey houses
and all their shiny cars.