free write 3

I'm not ready to forget I'm not- i don't know what i'm doing

Heart vomit. I love you cause you’re real stay mine tell me lies. I think I’m going insane in circles turning a blind eye to my freezer burn scar tissue saying your name under my breath with a suitcase packed in my mind prepared for a quick departure. I’ve heard the birds near my window whispering my secrets don’t call me back if all you’re going to do is whistle a song I’ve heard before I’ve heard the birds near my window calling your name they said you’d call me back they said you’d call my name where are you? I saw the trees near your window the willow trees bending I saw them bend to the will of the wind the last will and testimony there it all is, it’s all there. I’ve heard a secret passed between lips and swallowed down like a bitter pill and forgotten I forgot what I heard it’s gone it’s done. Things are twisting into place. I’ve been dreaming of a girl I once knew. She keeps appearing, alba skin like a nightlight in the nightlife emerging through the crowd like a clean glass bottle bobbing on the surface of a brown and muddy lake then sinking, sinking. I delve in arms first grabbing at limbs elbowing passersby she’s there; there she goes she’s gone.