running through my circuits like a heartbeat

~

I’m not sure if I’m alone locked in land

dreaming of the sea and the sand, sweating over these pots and pans while 

your black tongue works its magic with undetectable damage 

and yet here I am holding these dirty knives

I can make myself feel all right

I heard a poem under lamplight with the soft breath of a small

small

child and

there’s a rusty consistency to the words I heard, rattled around by a phone call

my brain snake blocking certain empathy to any one man did I ever tell you-

you had blue eyes, just once

and there’s nothing more to be said out loud, I can dream away the little stings

paper cuts on unfairly fair skin

perhaps we were never meant to recreate god’s wings, perhaps

these little games are just tricks of the trade to a battle scared victim of self hate
and bring me all the little prayers and declarations of love and loyalty

and I’ll show you why it means shit all

faced with the unknown truth, written on the wall in my inner child’s crayon

it says

‘I learnt something new.’ I reply;

‘I’m learning all the time, learning to like this old flesh of mine’

who’s to say there’s a wrong way to spend our time, and I’ll spend it with
a smile please and thank you. who’s to say

how it’ll sit with me tomorrow but right now there’s a fleeting feeling

that those crooked bathroom tiles really have seen it all

and the peeling paint isn't so bad when it smiles down

in a quiet street of shadowed eyes watching, I’m a lonely house unlocked and 

waiting

the air of my future is thick and threatening
in its aura of unknown potential.

~